Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Noah
Well, I am annoyed at my mother--here I am 32 and annoyed at her yet again. As I have written before, Noah has had some trouble with behavior and anxiety...well, Monday after much discussion with his play therapist and his pediatrician, I decided to bring him to a psychiatrist. Now remember, I have struggled with depression for almost as long as I can remember and I get so anxious it is unbearable. I have spent the majority of my life with few friends because I am so painfully shy. It takes someone taking an interest in me for me to warm up and become their friend. I feel that once I am able to do that I am no longer so anxious, but it is hard. I hate going to events that I do not know anyone, as I am sure to get sick...anyway, where I am going with this is that Noah "looks" just like me when it comes to this. I am terrified that he is going to end up like me and I do not wish this on anyone. That is why I started him in play therapy last year...he just is not making tremendous progress and it breaks my heart. So, the psychiatrist told me that he needs to be on medicine for his anxiety (and most likely ADHD as well, but we are not there yet). So, Noah was started on Prozac Monday. I just pray that this is the right thing for him...I just want him happy and I want him to have happy memories of his childhood...mostly I just want him to live a life where he does not worry all the time and he is not sad. So, my mother told me I was not allowed to write about this on CaringBridge...I told her I am not ashamed of this, but she obviously is...for now, I will not upset her, so I will only write about it here...I guess I need to pick my battles...this one is not worth it right now. Please pray that Noah does not have any of the side effects of the medicine...I just want him healthy and happy.
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2 comments:
You are the mommy! You know what's best for your child....not anyone else. Do what you feel is right in your heart. See how Noah does with the medication after a few weeks and go from there.
As for not sharing things like this with people.....once again, you are the mommy. Some people keep all "private" information very private and others are open. If you want to be open about it, I think you have the right to do that.
I was PAINFULLY shy as a kid and I don't even know what eventually snapped me out of that. I think just gradually over the years I became less and less shy (even tho I'm still a bit shy still when I don't know someone) as I learned to trust people and form friendships. I think as Noah gains some close friendships, he'll learn to trust more and that will break down his shy barriers little by little.
You are such a good mom. I will be thinking Noah and praying that he will do well with the medication. Good luck with it and keep us posted.
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