Just Plain Irritated

That pretty much describes my mood over the last couple of weeks. Here it goes...sorry for ranting yet again!

Here is one that totally gets me. There is a yahoo message board for people who live in our neighborhood. You would think that this would be a beneficial place to gather information about important things in the neighborhood, but in reality, all it does is irritate me. I ended up finally unsubscribing to it about two weeks ago because I had heard just enough from this one individual (who happens to "own" the group). Whenever anyone made any comment she would quickly reply with the most negative comments like the rest of the universe had no brain or intelligence. I think the best was the comment she made about home owners associations being the same as the Nazi's! I about lost it at that time and immediately responded to her letting her know how offensive that statement was and completely inappropriate to compare such things. She apologized in such a random way..."oh, I understand about genocide, I am Russian". Well, then, if you understand don't be a total social reject and make the comparison! She is so annoying.

Anyway, the last straw was not that huge of a deal, but there was a comment made about a babies swim diaper leaking in the community pool and the pool had to be closed down to be cleaned. Well, the last I checked, I don't think there are many parents purposely having their kids poop in the pool and she just went on and on about it. RIDICULOUS! Then another woman replied with a comment about that at she went off on her! CRAZY! So I replied with an email to her again stating that I will not longer subscribe to her stupid yahoo group since she is missing the basic social ability to be kind to people. She replied back saying that she would pray for me as I am obviously not well! SERIOUSLY?!?! Here is a woman who claims (publicly on her precious group) that about 15 people have ATTACKED her...so I replied with a simple email stating that when we feel a certain way about about something (say for example, being attacked by all these people) it may be time to look inside ourself to see what it is about ourself that is really the root of the problem. Well, that just pissed her off more...oh well. I am a big believer that when you feel that so many people are out to get you, you are either a paranoid personality or you need to change...in her case, she needs to change...she is just downright mean and obnoxious...even Jonathan said so...so it is not just me :)

Then on to my anniversary. I am beyond pissed off that my in-laws forgot our anniversary AGAIN this year. I know that it should not bother me, but it does. It makes me really upset and I find it rude and uncaring. I am pissed that they have such a lack of respect for my family that they cannot acknowledge (on the actual date or before I post something about it online) the day that joined our families together. It truly hurts to the bottom of my core...it does not bother Jonathan, because he knows that these things are not what his parents ever remember, but it bothers me and I cannot just get past it. I am really trying, but this is the second year in a row and a call with a message left on the answering machine the next day is just not acceptable. My parents both call me separately on all big days throughout the year (birthdays, anniversaries and holidays). I am not sure if my mom reminds my dad, but the fact is they both take time out of their really busy schedules to recognize the important days.

I am finding it harder and harder to deal with the in-laws and I have to for my family, but I am NOT going to go out of my way for them at all anymore...not at all!

Jonathan and I are not getting along well at all. We do not agree on much of anything and I just don't know what to do. I think that we probably need to go and talk to someone again, but we can't seem to find any time...what else is new? I know that he blames me (though he won't state it out loud) about Micah and I can't say that I don't blame him. I know that there are things that he does that bother me and though I have spoken to him about it, he has not listened...for example, he will ask my opinion on something, I give my opinion, then he does what he wants anyway. That is fine if he has his mind set on what to do, but if you are going to do what you want to do, just do it and don't involve me...that is all.

There is another board that I read that has a parenting and family section. There is a thread about every other week or so about not vaccinating your kids and how if you vaccinate your kids you are putting them at risk!?!? Again...I find that absurd! I know that there are kids who have adverse reactions to them, and I am not speaking of those kids...I am also not talking about kids who space their shots,or CANNOT get their shots due to their health, but these parents who are not vaccinating their kids at all! It really infuriates me because I think of the poor babies that CANNOT get vaccines due to their HEALTH and all these crazy parents who are putting the innocent kids at risk. It really upsets me! There are kids (and adults for that matter) that have compromised immune systems that are not able to get their vaccines, and then you have the parents of kids who choose not to vaccinate, therefore giving their kid a high possibility of getting those diseases and then passing them on to the people who would like to be protected but are not able. THERE IS A REASON that the AAP makes guidelines...sure there are risks, but for goodness sake, there is a risk of being hit by a car this afternoon. Look at Micah...what the heck did he do to deserve this? NOTHING! There is nothing that I won't do to protect my kids, and I just don't get it...I have read all these "anti-vaccination" threads and I still CANNOT find a SINGLE reason to NOT get every damn shot when the doctor tells me to do so. I hope that I have not offended anyone, I am not saying that I think any less of you if you do not vaccinate your kids, but I so not understand why placing a risk of a deadly disease is better than risking the very small possibility of an adverse reaction.

I also don't get why when the pediatrician that one has been seeing tells one that they will no longer be your doctor if you choose to not vaccinate, upsets a person! That doctor has every right to not treat you if you are going to put kids in their office at risk (again those that are not healthy enough or too young for the vaccinations). I had never thought about the fact that I could have exposed my kids to a deadly disease in the pediatrician's waiting room because they were not old enough for a shot yet and someone else had that disease. I also really cannot find anything in what the anti-vaccination community has to say that makes any sense to me on that.

I think I am just in a really bad mood...most likely PMS :) That is another thing that stinks...I forgot how much I hated PMS...no wonder I was always pregnant and nursing...I get horribly sick for the 5 days I have my visitor and the week before is pure hell!

Special: Yes, Special Needs: Not Really

I cannot even believe something that was said to me this past weekend. I was discussing going back to work full time next year (simply a possibility, not reality yet) and someone (I will not use names) actually asked me if I could even think of doing that with Micah being "special". "Isn't there a special school for kids like him here in the city?" SERIOUSLY?!?! When did having a feeding tube and a CHD instantly make someone qualify for the special education stuff? Micah is very smart and thankfully we are not dealing with major developmental delays...so why in the hell would someone even suggest that bull shit...sorry for the language, but I am really angry.

Anyway...just because my baby is "special" and by that I mean not a boring, average kid with no issues...does not mean that I have to put my career and future life on hold to wait around and do nothing. I am struggling with the possibility of going back to work, but in all honesty, I am really hoping that I do get this job. I think that as crazy as this seems, it will help stabilize my life and not allow me to sit around all day and focus on the what ifs with Micah. Micah needs to be around other kids...he enjoys it, so it is almost unfair of me to want to keep him locked up in his little bubble that he is in. He will thrive even more. And as for the numerous doctors appointments that he will still need to go on...that is what is nice with working in a school...school lets out at 3 and I can take him to late afternoon appts. What is the world is the big deal?

So there! Yes, Micah is special but his special needs are not that significant that he cannot do EVERYTHING (outside of heavy duty sports) that Noah and Leah do every single day of their "Normal" lives.